I’ve been living on my own for the last month, after living with housemates for the past 6 or so years. And it has been really lovely, I’ve been able to just be for a while but it has also given me a lot of time to think about my life and about me.
Being single is all I have ever known (except for that 6 hour relationship I had in year 7 where I didn’t talk to or see my “boyfriend”) and you know what? I like being single! I don’t know why there are so many people so obsessed with being in a relationship. I mean, yes, I want to be a ‘we’ but why can’t I enjoy being single until that day comes? Why is it that people struggle to be on their own?
I mean, come on – I can not shave my legs for a week and no-one complains! (except the kids at work who discover I have spikes!). I think I have learnt so much being on my own, I have been able to know myself better and become really sure of what I want when I do become an ‘us’. I have also been able to learn more about who I am in God. I think – actually I know, that if I had been a ‘we’ before now I would not have been able to grow as much as I have. If I had had a boyfriend going through my HSC or through uni I think I would have probably flunked as I know how distracted I get when I just have a crush. I would have missed out on some really important opportunities for growth in my life.
A girl I know from my hometown wrote a book called One Single Purpose and it has really helped me on this journey of being a single gal. It has a lot of reminders about why you should enjoy the stage you are at. It has a lot of stories that make me feel like it is ok that I am 26 and single because there are amazing things in store for me no matter my age and no matter my Facebook relationship status. Whether they be on my own or with someone else, I’m not sure yet.
Don’t get me wrong I want to be a Mrs, but I have had to accept that God has other plans for me right now and I would have missed them if I was too busy drooling over Mr tall, dark and handsome. It is a struggle that I have to work through all the time, when I get distracted by cuties I have to mentally say to myself “I am not here to find a husband. I am here for this particular experience”. It sounds really silly when I write it but it really is something I have to make myself do because God didn’t put me on this earth just to be part of an ‘us’ – that may be something he has in store for me down the track (and gosh I hope he does!) – but it’s not the only thing he has planned.
Sometimes I question why I am still single because it’s something I have always wanted, to be a ‘we’. It really hurts sometimes – like, is there something about me that is the reason why? (watching The Bachelorette while I write this probably doesn’t help!) I have to stop myself and say “It will happen when it is meant to happen” and gee I hope it’s amazing when it does!
For right now, at this point in life’s journey I am trying really hard to embrace who I am. To not become too focused on becoming an ‘us’ but to really enjoy being 26 and enjoy being single.