Generally New Years Eve is spent creating resolutions for the coming year. For me, today meant having a little freak out because I have no idea what next year brings. Literally no idea!
I am absolutely stoked to be saying goodbye to 2016. Worst year of my life! A year that saw me mentally, emotionally and financially at my lowest. A year that was filled with tears and heartbreak and mistreatment from others. A year full of change. A year full of downright horrible-ness!!
This year was also a year of personal triumph, resilience, perseverance, and of survival. A year that I leant fully on God and he got me through. That is one thing about tough times, you tend to discover who you really are. When everything else is stripped back and you have only God to depend on, you realise that is all you really need.
2016 also brought support from others, especially my parents. Some new friendships and some old ones rekindled. Friendship and support that helped me through, beautiful words of kindness and hugs when I needed them. I am so grateful to all those who were there for me this year.
As I sit here wanting for 2017 to be one where I can make a difference, I am also worried about making the wrong choices for my future. I’m worried about experiencing another horrid year and about not living up to expectations I have put on myself or that I think others might have for me. But I think I’ll have to take each day as it comes, be myself and see what the wind blows my way.
I’m not one for making New Years resolutions because I reckon they put too much pressure on you if you muck up. But this coming year I’m going to make some New Years goals instead I think! I plan on putting God first and trying my hardest to follow his plans (whatever they are and however scary they might be). I plan on being a person who others can count on. I plan on completing some more study, my Masters to be precise. Which is the part of next year I am finding the scariest! I hated uni the first time round, but it feels like the only thing that has really presented itself – so here goes!
Hopefully this time next year I will be writing about the things I have achieved and not about how gosh darn hard it has been to have gotten through this year! 2016 was the year of survival but I am hoping 2017 will be the year of prospering.
Even though this year has sucked big time, I am still blown away by how blessed I am! I have a fabulous family & caring friends, I live in a great country and have so many things available to me with such ease. And most of all I have a God who has everything sorted.
Bring on the scary, exciting-ness of 2017!